Him

Dear You,

I havn't forgotten You yet, I promise.  I know that it seems that I have.   I know we havn't spoken in quite a while.  But often times when I don't know where to turn to, I still think of You.   When I feel afraid, I still secretly trust and hope in You.  I know that I don't deserve You, but one day I'll try.   One day, I'll try again for You.  I'll love You, not as much as You love me, but I'll still try my best.  Don't lose hope in me just yet please. If You do, I'm afraid I'll lose hope too.

From,
Me.

Closed

NOT NYE fireworks. TRICKED YA!

So, I wanted to write a reflection post of my past year, seeing that it was recently New Year's Day.
The problem with this is that I have a terrible memory and a year is a VERY long time span of memories to recall on. But I'll try my best. (:

2011.
That was the year I got my DLSR (or... started using it)
That was the year I realized who I would most likely try to keep in touch with.
That was the year that I had to get accustomed to my sister and mother living in northern California and pretty much splitting my family in half. (and missed them a bunch and realized how my family is balanced by each member)
That was the year that I met Eric and obliviously went on our first date.
That was the year that my life was filled with a bunch of other guy drama and being ninja'd on a different date. (which was not very enjoyable.)
That was the year that I was still uncertain about.. many things. (typical.)
That was the year that I found out Paik had a boyfriend.
That was the year that I spent a lot of time with Riverside friends and planned a bunch of birthday gatherings and such.
That was the year I started breaking out like crazy.
That was the year that I transitioned from being a kindergarten teacher's helper at church to a non-church attender. (Because of re-evaluation, laziness, uncertainty, and fear.)
That was the year that owned my butt in grades and proved to myself that some things never change. (and if I don't start making a conscious effort in school, I WON'T get by.)
That was the year I got to see Wong Fu and Clara Chung at school.
That was the year that I felt as if I started to become more mean and less true to myself.
That was the year that I first went to a drive in movie theater.
That was the year that I heard about Mike.
That was the year that I went camping in a LONG, long time.
That was the year that I saw the Voice's finale. live.
That was the year that I got a job at Old Navy.  And realized that working retail sucks.
That was the year that I spent a lot of time with my sister during summer.
That was the year I had that nice night with Kris and we talked about the past.
That was the year of the letter.
That was the year where I was more blunt to myself.
That was the year when I moved into my first apartment with Bianca.
That was the year when I learned about my cleaning OCD tendencies.
That was the year when I started to feel even farther away from riverside friends than before.
That was the year where I realized that riverside COULD get even MORE boring (and lonely) than during my first year of college.
That was the year that I was humbled by not making it into the acapella (and not even making through to the second rounds)
That was the year of 11/11/11 11:11 and how it made me reminisce of when I was younger and talked about how amazing that moment would be.  And the realization of knowing that it's a minute, just like every other minute, and it really didn't matter. especially in the way I thought it would have.
That was the year that I realized how difficult it is to cook all of the time and grocery shop, etc.
That was the year that I realized I don't want a large house in the future because it's difficult to maintain.
That was the year I decided to join Precision for Vision, an optometry club, and hopefully pursue a career in optometry.
That was the year I made an idiot mistake of letting a stranger into my apartment and realized that maybe being TOO nice CAN be a bad thing.
That was the year that I decided to be official with Eric.
That was the year I learned more about myself.
That was the year when I first tried ethiopian food.
That was the year where I tried to be less passive and more communicative.


This is the year where I will continue to grow.

New Year's Resolutions:
(because it's one of those traditional formalities.)
1. Feel like I've really tried at something
2. Improve at one of my many wanted skills
3. Don't give up on Him.
4. Self-reflect and act on it!
5. Even if I don't accomplish these, at least keep them in mind during the year.

Sincerely,
Me.