Desire

Indulgences: pinkberry run at night, wearing my new shoes, browsing culture events, venting sesh, blogging instead of doing work
Loves: Taylor Momsen, personal and meaningful conversations, The Pretty Reckless, doing almost anything with the word sesh, making everything a ____ sesh.
Desires: to watch something during the film festival, go to the truffle tasting, to go shopping, to go to LA fashion month, to watch New York, I love you, and the september issues, and a plethora of other movies, to do something unique, to improve in guitar skills, to start sewing

Not everyone can model. Proof: my picture. Believe it or not, this was one of the BETTER of the takes. sad, ain't it? I was helping out Nathan for his photography assignment. But not going to lie, it was pretty fun. I'd love to have little photography seshes with anyone.(: Even IF i don't own a SLR. Love...taylor momsen. Loved her for quite a long time. What's making me love her more? her great photos and new knowledge that she sings.




So, for quite some time now, i've been oh so tempted to include a dislike, or something of the such section in my blogs. But I think if i begin to do that, i'll start to focus on more negative things rather than positive. So, I've changed my mind. I should also probably limit my want section, since it makes me focus on what i don't have. Sigh, oh well. I want to watch a million batrillion different movies. I also want to do like a WHOLE buncha cultured stuff. food festivals, film festivals, fashion month shows, indie films, art galleries, all of the sort. I also want to start listening to more classical music and a broader range of music. Also wishing for some make up lessons, cause i definitely don't know how to do make up for my life. All I do is eyeliner and mascara, and sure that's fine. but i mean, for special occasions, i want to know how to make myself just a BIT nicer looking, ya know? And we all know that you gotta master makeup applying for asians, cause it's COMPLETELY diff on asians than on other people.
I realized that reconnecting with old people is a lot harder than it seems. Or, maybe the act itself isn't. but getting over the fear/effort/all the such, is difficult. But I want that to be one of my goals. To reconnect with atleast one person.

I'm excited yet scared to meet new people in college. New people willing/wanting to get to know you. Something to look forward to, yes? But i feel like i'm missing out on the people that i already pass every single day. *sigh, iono.

I love those WOAH YOU JUST READ MY MIND moments. Such as when i put up blackbird as my status and garrett ims me with "WOAH I WAS JUST LISTENING TO THAT SONG THEN LOOKED AT YOUR STATUS". scaryyyy.
and today michelle joh just told me how she wants to go have a photoshoot, BEFORE i posted this post. woahhhh. It's great connecting with people like that.
WHEN IS OUR FIRST COFFEE HOUSE!? i'm getting very anxious for our school events to begin. Arn't we supposed to have atleast one coffee house each month? and movie night in december? love love love. I just realized, i havn't gone to any dances/football games/anything yet :[ lame.

I'm still pensive about my summer plans at the moment. I really want to go to europe, but don't know anyone that's going on the trip. I also want to go to asia, but am uncertain. I'm actually uncertain of what ANYONE'S doing over the summer... :[ except that some guys are going to hawaii. That seems like fun, but i mean it's SENIOR SUMMER. don't you wanna do something BIG like EUROPE? europe europe europe. i feel like i should go to asia this summer since i went to europe last summer, but something inside of me is still craving europe. I'm jealous of cedric, he's going to japan in spring break and then france in the summer. Oh, how i wish i could do plans similar to that.

Amor,
Chantal

Excess

Indulgence: 5+ hour nap, huge feast when i came home from school yesterday, spending 112 at H&M's opening day(leather skirt, black bucket bag, lace leggings, egyptian green top), style blogs, internet surfing in general
Coveting: Flappy vest thing(rihanna's for example), a macbook, an slr+photography class, confidence, confrontation skills, shield ring, military jacket, sparkly gold top, dress/cape-ish/pea/trench coat. (i forget who was wearing it, beyonce perhaps? maybenot)
Love: the color of the nail polish i got, too bad i suck at painting my nails. every intricate detail of music, "the nice guys", people who are able to go through things without complaining(coveted trait), spontaneous facts you don't know about anything/people

(Picture: utterly outrageous. I mean, I know it's fashion, but.. really?)

Bonjour.

but ANYWAYS. God works in mysterious ways.
I still don't get it. but, that's the point right?
that we're NOT going to completely understand Him and that we shouldn't try to make COMPLETE sense of Him. because once we do, or so, we'll feel better than Him, as if we ARE Him. I mean I'm sure many will disagree. But what I think is that, yes, we're trying to please him and understand His word to praise Him. But I don't think we should understand Him entirely. Cause, if I already understood everything, i probably wouldn't need Him, right? cause I know everything... I don't know. I'm still confused. which is part of my whole theory.
I'm not fond of christian haters. I don't understand why people hate christians. we're striving for a purity so divine and perfection. So, what's so wrong with ambition? America craves ambition, ours is just a different kind. And personally, I think it's a better kind. "Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp. Or what's a heaven for?" Robert Browning
And don't think that by me saying all this i'm all CHRISTIAN CHRISTIAN. cause... i don't want to be labeled a hypocrite(even though i am). I want to be a strong faithful christian. but i'm not...yet. and me posting this, here, does not make me any higher or more religious than the next person.
I've been having some serious faith problems for a while. But, iono. It'll all work out.
I realized, a lot of things i put a side, and want to deal with them seperately, but i think the truth is, is that a lot of things, we just got to ride it out. Figure it out along the way. I'm not going to discover myself in a year with major thinking, taking a break from everything else. I just gotta deal with it, go along with life, and hope that it'll find me.

So on my way to church with my father, i was pleasantly surprised last week. To be honest, i absolutely dread my car rides with him. They usually involve long lectures about things, or like depressing talks that gets me so annoyed and just crazy. But this week was different. he started off with telling me about a story that he receieved in an email about a lady. She was saving this fine expensive silk dress in her husband's closet to wear to a special occasion. But, she passed away from a car accident or something before being able to wear it. So her husband put it on her for her funeral. So, the "moral" of the story was to live in the moment. right? but my dad was telling me his point of view about it. That he disagrees completely. That sometimes, yes, we should seize the moment. But that's not always advantageous. He discussed with me that this lady was actually lucky. She kept that hope of one day having a fabulous party and being able to wear that exquisite dress. And sometimes, that's all we need. That Hope to carry us along. Because I mean, if we always just did whatever. like we got that thing cause it'll make us happy now, we'll want more, and more, and more, until nothing will satisfy us anymore.

THIS WEEKEND I WENT TO THE JASON MRAZ CONCERT
I must say, it was very very fun and amazing. He definitely sounds better live.
it was... Ashley, Kelcey, Kelcie, Mari, RyanShio and I that attended. We rode the bus and ran into Tristan! The whole time I was in the bus, i don't know why but I just kept thinking how incredibly fun it would be to have like a little photoshoot in it. With all of the handlebars and such to play with. yup. But anyways. very fun.

Hi my name is heather and i avoid conflicts.
I can't seem to face any sort of conflicts, instead i shrivel away in cowardness and avoid it all together. I'm unsure why I can't seem to get the guts to just tackle my problems, solve it, go on. But I try to like.. ignore it and see if it just goes away.
I also do not have enough in me to actually dislike any particular person. Whenever people ask me "oh,.. do you like ____?" my response is usually "oh, iono, i don't really know them enough". I don't understand those people who hate people without even knowing them much. and even if they DO know them a lot, how can you hate them? We're all just people, going through the same things and such. We all have something to contribute to this world.
I'm extremely frustrated at the moment in many different ways, for many different reasons.

LA fashion month. this month. I want to go to ANYTHING. Most things are invite only. :[ but i'm determined to get tickets.
small list of to dos/to gos(newly discovered): LA fashion month, random yelp events, rose bowl flea market, R&R sample sale, hello kitty art&fashion happening, Extraordinary Desserts,.. more to come.

In need of a kbbq/nrb/movienight/music sesh/bonfire/anything at all hang out.

I'm not very pleased with this post. It has been a compilation of multiple days and the content is stupid. I'm going to post it now just because. but i will probably edit/delete/be too lazy to do anything about it.....later.... Je'ne sais pas

Amor,
Chantal
(mjoh and i are really cool. we have french names. we're going to learn french and have secret conversations in french.)

alexander mcqueen photocredits: fashiontoast.com