That was short...

Indulgences: cooking a baked ziti, reading a cookbook, sleeping a LOT., not doing homework, shopping, blogs

Love: not talking about colleges, clothes...sigh., getting excited for other people's futures, denim, shoulder detail

Desire: this weird feeling to go away, to stop having to rush everywhere(i think the tension is making me die early), more bible knowledge, GET A JOB. DO IT NOW., less ignorance

title referring to both internet fast and this post.

the short internet fast went better than last year, to say the least.

i remember last year i said no aim or internet? and instead i just spent a magillion hours on my "email" talking to people through gchat.

this year, i actually didn't go on the internet. but.. iono the fast didn't really go as planned. I expected myself to dedicate a lot more time to God. But, i found myself sleeping a LOT. instead?

So, I guess i shall try again sometime soon.

the fast, was a tad cleansing. Just, not to expectations, ya know?

It's been about four and a half months. yes, i've been counting. I'm still waiting, and wondering how long it'll be until this ends.

i dropped about 140 dollar yesterday on clothes. i havn't been shopping in a while. i feel really extremely guilty. and to make it WORSE, my dad was talking about how we don't have enough money for me for college and we gotta take out loans.

...yay.

I need to get a job. I need to stop saying that i need to get a job, and actually start getting/filling out applications and submit them. let the job hunting commence!

that's all folks.

Heather

i wish i was european.

Fast Internet?

Nope. I am, however, going on an Internet fast.

11 days. No internet except for email, edline, college crap, weather.com, sometimes youtube ONLY if i'm learning guitar stuff on it, googlemaps, and if i plan on cooking/baking something: recipe searching but not for a long time 25 min max.

Sadly, this is going to be hard for me. But I have to do it.

Starting sundown tonight. ending: sundown on the 25th.

Feel free to call me up to hang out/talk.(:

Honestly?

Hello new favorite way to tie scarves.

Indulgences: blogs. how addicting can they get?seriously...; random magazines(like..good housekeeping ones); nrb with koreans; watching a ballet; having dinner with pops; lazying around with friends

Listening to: Monky Mark& Emily Wells:"Symphony 6: Fare Thee Well and the Requiem Mix", The Living Sisters, Micachu and the Shapes, Jamie cullun, She&Him, bethany joy lenz:honestly(old fave)

Love: sartorialist, weird people who understand you, watching people change(for the good), optimism, when people say hilariously idiotic things,

Desire: Make my post-it+verse wall collage, do a cityrace/raceLA, saturday nights at the getty(boo, i missed the living sisters performance), perform at a coffee house w/friends, biking along the beach, people who are calling in search of wellsfargo to stop calling me.

So, did you know that there are pro-anorexia websites out there? I learned this little tidbit in psychology. but apparently, these sites call out to anorexics and join together to try to defend anorexia. They claim that anorexia is a way of living, a lifestyle, and everyone should just deal with it. Reason I bring this up? I feel like homosexuality is sort of similar. People trying to convince everyone that it's a lifestyle and that we should deal with it. I mean, if now the norm is to accept homosexuality, when is it going to become the norm to accept anorexia, right? no? Sort of like the video I saw in psych where there's a whole buncha obese people rallying for changes in society to fit to them. They claim that society should change things for them, not them for society. (such as changing car seats, larger movie theater seats, etc etc.) i find it a tad/pretty ridiculous, but maybe i'm cold hearted. who knows.

In general, i'm a pretty timid person. a lot of the time, i really really hate it. But, i'm coming to terms with it. Part of me really likes it, cause when i think of a traditional woman from back in the day, i think of a meek, mild lady who's graceful, poised, and such, which i want to be more like that.

I think that I and many others out there look at Christianity too often as a sort of "rule book". What I should do, and what i shouldn't. I'm really trying to abolish this sort of mindset, because that's not what christianity is about at all. Loving God is what it's about, and thanking Him. Through loving Him, i should naturally not want/do the things I'm not supposed to do. Through praising and glorifying Him, I'll naturally do the things I'm supposed to. I think I need to really listen to the Spirit's prompting more carefully.

99 foods It's pretty sad to admit, but mr. hoeger's class is by far one of the most interesting classes i've taken yet. I love how he emphasizes so much on culture and such. Although i'm completely overly screwed for the AP, i don't really care. Articles like THAT(the 99 foods one), are why i'm in love with the quirkiness of hoeger. that link, btw is 99 foods to try in LA before you die. anyone down to eat each 99? i definitely am. Hoeger says that two publications crowned LA as the food capitol of the world. Hard to believe, right? Or, i think so anyway, with competition such as new york, rome, etc. So, I feel like i REALLY need to go out there and explore the food realm of Los Angeles, knowing that there's so much good stuff out there for me to enjoy.

So, I don't want this to be of offense to anyone, honestly. it's just my random thoughts. But, I never really quite understood praise bands at churches. i understand. but i don't. Like, I get praise bands, to praise God, of course. But like. I feel that when only a couple of people are designated to lead praise i feel like the focus is a little more on them rather than on God. I may be totally completely wrong, but it's just how i feel at the moment. I also feel a bit.. off when i think of performances of christian songs in front of people. Cause,.. singing praises is to glorify God, yeah? But, if you perform a christian song, it's like sure, YOU're feeling Him. But when others congratulate you, they're congratulating YOU. and how well YOU did. "oh man you were so good! you sounded amazing!". It's not like people say "Wow, i really felt God through you. Wow, your love for God truly exuded from your performance and I want to know Him now too" or if they do say that, that's VERY rare, but also very amazing. But anyway, to me, it seems as if performing christian songs kind of robs God of His glory and is made as your own glory.

I realized that I really DO think I like food a lot more than the next person. Such as... a lot of things that I thought were common knowledge, apparently arn't. Such as, one time I was eating at sammy's woodfire pizza with some friends and there was a pizza with proscuitto and arugula. And,... someone said "What's... pro-skeww-tiooo..?" and i'm explain, it's "pro shoot o", ya know... the meat, thinnly sliced stuff" but.. i guess the person didn't know. Maybe it was just that one person, though that didn't know it, and others do. Also yesterday, we were eating chocolate at church and two people were like. what's... "nougat" and i think in my mind it was all... "dude, cmon really? it's that stuff that's in chocolate. i don't really know how to describe it. but it's the stuff! CMON. it's freaking nougat!" *shrug. maybe it's just the wrong people at the wrong time.

"The blue sky's above you, it's your time to fly" Thanks pops. So ya know when you hear other people's parents say sweet things, then it's like,.. aww. but when you hear your own parents say something, it's just kinda weird. That definitely happened to me today at the Assembly's "lunch with mom and dad" thinger. yeah.

I am the typical crazy asian girl driver. I turned a right a bit (understatement) too sharply, and like.. deformed my hubcap a bit. So, now when i drive, it makes this WRETCHED SCREECHING noise. it's pretty horrific, annoying, embarassing, and just terrible in general. sigh :[

"I don't want to talk about You like You're not in the room. Want to look right at You, want to sing right to You" I hear these lyrics in my car almost every day. And everyday, I want to really follow it and truly remember that God is constantly with me and to talk about Him in mind that He's there, and to sing to Him (just as the lyrics say. lol.) it's quite difficult, actually.

So, I realized that i'm REALLY REALLY REALLY OVERBEARINGLY addicted to the internet. It's pretty ridiculous, actually. Like, i honestly think i check like a bagillion blogs daily, multiple times, plus fb plus both emails, plus like.. yahoo and youtube and just. iono i think i've let it consume me. and I've been thinking about going a a small internet fast lately, and to be honest, i'm a huge wuss, and have been avoiding it. mm but i think i should soon. it probably won't be lent status long. it'll probably be only like a week, a week and a half. which.. may seem pretty short, but like. my addiction, like is so crazy that, that amount of time is QUITE long. So, yeah. i'll either be m.i.a. and not going on the internet, cept maybe email. or... iono. we'll see.

BLAGHABLAGH. that's all.

Love,

Heather

Photocredit: sartorialist. loveloveloveee.; laweekly.com kogi taco. OH, THAT'S RIGHT, I ALREADY ATE YOU. ONE DOWN 98 TO GO. mmmm.(: