Red Cup Season, Oh how you get me every year...

Adding homey touches to the apt.(:

Indulgences: doing nothing way too much, blogging right now instead of studying for finals coming up, hiking to the C!, listening to songs on repeat, getting drinks for starbucks just for the red cup thrill, late nights, too much himym, staying in bed extra long just so i can still be warm under the sheets, decorating the apt in holiday, receiving the europe journal and readingg through it and laughing WAYY to hard.
Desire: shopping, new clothes, nailpolish, long hair to play with, makeup skills, shoes, more time efficiency so i can clean, study, experiment, bake, cook, read, learn new things, etc., straight bangs (and for them to look gooood), for my chunky necklace to reappear, an A in my classes, more adventures, friends that want to go on adventures/do stuff, for that warm tingly feeling, disneyland trip with all the holiday decorations!, SPARKLY THINGS (sparkly skirt, cardigan, shoes), doing cutesy holiday stuff, cute hand heat packs
Listening to: Jason Mraz: All I Want for Christmas is Us, David Barnes: Christmas tonight (both from tanya)
Love: chunky sweaters. SO MUCH., hair in buns, starbucks red cups, how when you flip the rubber part of headphones it looks like a hairdryer, my apt (kind of more than my actual house...strangely), the air freshener smell of apple cinnamon (basically THE HOLIDAY SMELL :D), biscotti, when strangers compliment you, warm drinks

Hiked to the C today and for some reason, while I was going up there, I had one of those surreal woah-moments. Where all of a sudden you realize that it's quiet.  And not just quiet,... but extremely silent. Not the kind of lonely apartment-silence, not the awkward when no one's talking-silence, not the everyone's panicky about a exam-silence, not even the everyone's just THAT tired from something-silence.  The kind of peaceful silence that I didn't realize that I missed so dearly until it hit me while  looking out onto the city.

So, I realized that I have less pity for people who are more selfish/mean/etc.  Part of me thinks that it's okay for me to feel this way, because it's only natural, right?  But part of me thinks.. is it wrong?
A selfish person who grows up less fortunate deserves the same amount of concern as the nice person who grows up less fortunate, right?  Because in each case, the "less fortunate" part is the concern driving factor and the other factors should be ceteris paribus.
*shrug. still tossing this idea around in my mind.

That's it for now.

Adieu!!

Typical

I want to get lost here forever.

Indulgences: saw Lily Elise from "the voice" at ikea, spending money on fooddd, being honest with my opinions(sometimes), pizookie, watching too many movies this summer, wasting my life away at home, not keeping my promises to myself, listening to coffee break french on my way to work

Desir: an amazing apartment without the stress of making it one, the virtue of hard work, the feeling of accomplishment, confidence, blind faith, more honestly good people, more conservativeness, perfect grammar, eloquence, better manners, less typical activities, for acne to go away, more nail polish, the ability to make the long wavy bob, less complaining, more skills and hobbies, for next year to go greatly, to complete diy projects, maturity

Ecouter: Let go by Frou Frou, Runaway Baby by bruno mars, Heavy in your Arms by Florence and the Machine, Wonderful World by James Morrison, Who You Are by Jessie J, Skin and Bones by David Roch

Amour: unwinding at night to a nice cup of tea; driving while the windows are down w/ wind through my hair, blasting soothing music, singing, feeling the wind push back on my hand and smelling the fresh air of pv; how the night makes everything better, how when you hang out with people at night (in comparison to day) that you get more raw emotions and real talks, dinner etiquette, really satisfying hugs, closure, midnight in Paris, diy projects, levitating girl,

I realized that the etiquette of Americans is getting more and more atrocious.  I remember I was sitting somewhere and was craving something sweet.  And I saw a couple eating ice cream together and was just sort of.. repulsed?  It definitely killed my craving.  But i mean, I totally understand, eating can be a gross looking thing. I myself look hideous while eating. it's just the WAY, though, that they were eating that made it seem.. displeasing. When i sit in restaurants nowadays, i notice myself people watching. (esp with my sister b/c she's a HUGE people watcher). I must admit, sometimes (a lot of times) I'm at fault for these too. but i notice how absolutely NO one is sitting up straight. the straightest i saw anyone sitting was from a LITTLE GIRL.  Another thing that slightly irritates me: when people don't use knives.  I must admit, sometimes I'm at fault for this one too. There's a piece of chicken that's too big to fit into your mouth. you're too lazy and just resolve to trying to cut it with the edge of your fork or just stab the entire thing and take bites into it.  I'm not sure why but these just kind if err me now.  ESP the former action.  I feel that Americans in general are just incredibly... American. and it's definitely a bad thing if you can name a type of person and you think of terrible associations.
whenever people think of Americans, they think of: obese, bad mannered, uncultured, unintelligent, ignorant, lazy people.
ehh.

I feel as if i belong to a different time/era.  I saw midnight in Paris a bit recently ish and feel similar to the main character.  Wishing of being in a different time and in a different place.  Although I realize that the end result is that people will always be wishing to be in a different time/place and instead we should be content and make the best of what's in front of us; I can't help but still dream of something different.  I'm not sure when or where exactly, but just not here nor now.

that's it for now.
Adeiu,
Heather

Seuls

Indulgences: making lists(too many), pushing things to the very corners of my mind, spending all my money on food, slacking on my productive list of todos, not fixing my posture like I want to, lots of bloglovinn, sytycd watchin, finishing the past two antm seasons, finishing gilmore girl seasons :(, project runway, thinking a little too much, BUMMING, melon bars, buying a SUPER CUTE apron, keeping a rough list of how much i spend & on what, catching up with old friends, being a little more honest/open about myself.

Désir: retail therapy, new wardrobe, learn french, cook/bake, exercise, an amazing apartment, Seafolly English Rose Bustier Bikini Top + matching bikini skirt, a super wicked one piece, peter pan collared anything, chambray shirt, jean jacket/vest, more sophisticated looking clothes, black wedges, heels+the tolerance to wear them, feather hair extension, scallop hemmed shorts, tall socks, combat boots, fingerless leather gloves, camel-toned anything, acne to go away!!, "New Girl" to start, sophisticated speech, pixie cut/something drastic, reading the classics, listen to more classical music, to meet someone (around my age) TRUELY classy.

Écouter: Blogotheque-- oh how i love you. various songs(a lot from sytycd routines), The Lonely by Christina Perri, Xenia from "the voice" (i'm obsessed w/ her cool tone)

Amour: making lists(i am ADDICTED.), how sometimes in the sun my hair naturally turns a little reddish/brownish, polyvore, this entry (& all of thought catalog), this series: move, eat, learn (watch them, AMAZING. To the man in all of these videos: i don't know you, but I already kind of love you.) (;, that i'm going to be getting crazy discounts at ON, BR and Gap, love being able to love and care for people, the feeling of crossing things off lists

Choses sur moi: I really don't like when people don't push in their chairs, I romanticize ideas in my head, I'm quite timid, I hate when I'm forced to act fake/happier than normal, i have a naturally "pissed off" looking face, my life is on slow-motion compared to other's, i don't like parties b/c they don't seem classy, I like class and sophistication, I break under pressure

I realized that I have too many desires/goals/things I want to get accomplished and achieve at. I have a long LONG list of skills I want to acquire that consist of learning french, learning japanese, playing guitar, flute, and piano, cook amazingly, sew clothes and such, exercising, great photography skills, sing amazing, be incredibly stylish, and be able to model a little. But i swear, my list continues to grow and grow each second, and I feel like with all of these things I want to achieve, I get overwhelmed and pursue none. Instead I've gained NO progress throughout these years of having the SAME goals and I NEED to change/start. I have yet to figure out a way to actually work on achieving these goals but what I'm thinking of is to concentrate on 2-3 goals per year until i've gained comfortability with them (and from there add on another 2-3 goals). BUT. most likely I'll probably be the same and keep having these skill goals that I never master. Frustrating.

Quelquefois, I think it's nice to be disconnected. Or, at least, it's a romantic idea. No phone, no internet, nothing. Just you being you, in the world without having to tell everyone your every single action, without having to know other's every thought, without having to be texting/ communicating 24/7. Isn't it a tad appealing to think about how in the past, there weren't social networks? So when you lost touch with someone, you REALLY do lose touch. And if you want to reconnect with someone, you/the other person would actually have to WORK to catch up? (instead of a click of a button, a couple of jabs at the keyboard, and DONE.) I feel that online social networks have killed, or at least weakened the value, effort, and intention of friendship. I like knowing that someone actually wants to put the effort to stay in touch with me despite the easy convenience of a quick fb wall message.

Another post soon (within 1day-2months). I think I already know what I want to write about.(:

Adieu et Bonne Nuit!

Heather

ps. i need to start practicing french somehow

pps. about photo: SUP UMAMI?! MY SISTER AND I CAN MAKE A BURGER W/ AN AWESOME CHEESE CRISP TOO!

Light Bulb!

Indulgences: hours of tetris, extravagant in n out order, sleeping in, skipping classes, not studying, real/personal talks: "i'm a freaking walking cliche.", too much gaming (n64 style), grabbing a bunch load of stuff from scottys, not exercising(even though i told myself i would), playing with paperclips(making them into rings), WONG FU VISIT, hiking to the c, intense egg hunt, looking at tumblrs, listening to learning-french cds

Desire: the motivation to study more, inspiration, productivity, for my laziness to disappear, diligence, new shoes, creativity/designing eye, to do similar weird projects/activities like wreckless, to do more(concerting, art gallerying, cooking, adventuring,...anything),

Listening to: You & me- diamond rings

Love: love letters[read the explanation] (:, design of all sorts (interior, product, fashion.), traveling/ foreign places, the romance about things european, deep thinking, fake sad/pouty faces, those moments/conversations that make you laugh so hard that you can hardly breathe, the simpler things in life, belongings [click on object, read, click next, click picture, read.] (:, Pratt,

So I was thinking about ideas...

And I realized that once someone has an idea, he/she usually tends to get overly caught up in it.

Whether it be while having a conversation: one person is talking, but the other person is so incredibly caught up in their idea/what he's going to say that he doesn't pay attention to what the other person is saying.

or if someone has an idea they created and gets so excited about it, that they don't really think about the idea thoroughly, to realize that MAYBE it's not THAT great of an idea.

or someone liking a person for the idea of them. either someone liking the person just because he/she's there. or liking a person for who he/she THINKS they are.

all examples of how getting too caught up in an idea is harmful.

funny, huh? I would think: an idea. plain and simple: getting ideas are great!

But, sometimes, that's not just it, it's how you use that idea and how you consider it that makes it positive or negative.

...if that makes any sense.

So, the other day I was getting my car washed at a gas station with my pops. Ya know, the typical--pay and you drive into the big machine-- one and it spits out soap, water, and the works for ya. ...yeah?

So, while we're in the car wash, we see this guy peeping his head into the car wash facility and my dad goes "oh, that guy probably wants to make some money". And at first, my first instinct is.. "oh, okay another person begging for money... probably not gna look at him and drive away". But, my dad hands me a dollar and says "after we're done, drive up and give this to him, at least he's working and trying to make an honest living". It didn't even occur to me that the man wanted to dry the cars that passed through the machine to earn some change.

So, my car is just about to be done, and i realize that i screwed up with the driving-through-the-air-dryer part. (the entire back side of my car is pretty much wet). So I figure, hey, I might as well have the man dry my car. So the man tells us to pull over and he starts drying my car. To my amazement, not only does he dry my car; he cleans the little gutter part under the window and windexes my windows and rear view mirrors too. I'm watching this guy clean my car, and for some reason, i'm incredibly touched. I'm amazed at his diligence of taking little details into account. I mean, I would've been fine with giving him some money if he just slapped a towel around my car to wipe it down...But this man was taking his care and massive amount of time(as other potential customers drove past), to clean my car. Even to the point of using his fingernails to scratch off the little specks that remained on my front window. As he's cleaning my car, my dad hands me another dollar, and i contribute my own dollar. A total of 3 dollars.

I wanted to give him as much as 10, but I didn't have any more money. I have incredible admiration for this man who worked so hard for 3 measly dollars.

What touched me even more, was that when I drove up, he didn't attack my car or anything, to trick me into paying him; he kindly asked and directed me to the side. Also, when I gave him the money, he didn't even so much as glance at his hand to see how much he made. He simply looked me in the eyes and said thank you so much, please come back to this gas station to let me dry your car again.

Sometimes admiration can be found in high positioned people or the powerful...but sometimes, it can be found in the honest, hardworking man struggling for money at the gas station.

that's it for now.

au revoir,

Heather.

picture: i love wong fu productions. ted's my fave. I really enjoyed their panel, actually. it gave you insight on how their minds worked. And I was pleasantly surprised.

Lost?

Indulgences: staying up all night on gummy bears, cheese crisps, baked ravioli, staying up way too late, slr-ing, celebrating a million birthdays, winco runs, fooding, over-thinking things, wishing for too much

Desire: less drama, more hobbies, anything new from jess delgado, more days to just sit back and relax, more insight, more time

Love: Pierre Hermes, macarons,

9x-7i>3(3x-7u), good friends, music, paying too much attention to small details, the weird-you read my mind- feeling, inspiration

Listening to: Pomplamoose, ortoPilot, My Terrible Friend, Look at me now(Karmin cover) [AMAZINGNESS] (:

In the mood to sit on the grass at the park while listening to relaxing music and watching the leaves fall from the trees.

picture: via madbaker.net

ps. doesn't this look cute/delicious/lovely? i want it!

Love,

Heather(:

pps. europe. bring me back there, please.

Pitter Patter...

Indulgences: A surprise visit(:, going to cali adventures for free, LA trip, knotts for free, gilmore girls marathon, spending all my money on food(like always), finally signing up for an actual account for lookbook, going to the park in the rain while reminiscing and singing, sitting in the car a little extra long to finish a song and to watch the rain fall down the window,

Listening to: the weepies: gotta have you(and the kina grannis cover of it), iron and wine, tegan and sara, shakira:waka waka(reminds me of europe(: ), Dorothy Hayden's songs(esp. Here I Stay)
Desire: all the things i've desired in the past: basically, things never change.; DBrown riding boots, black combatish boots, black flat oxfords, motorcross jeans,etc., new clothes. To post pictures on lookbook, music collaboration, to be productive,
Love: When i'm coming home and i see that layer of fog that's below(near the ocean) while on top it's clear, and just for a few moments...i feel like I'm not in this world, but in this magical world of bliss.

I visited Hesse park today. It was raining outside, and I was in a romantic mood(not that sort of romantic)... I grabbed my umbrella and headed for that ol' familiar playground that i knew a bit too well. When I got there, it had changed, the construction was finished. I started reminiscing about the times i had on the old playground, and even the times that i snuck out at night and hopped the fence during construction. Swinging on the swings with a pal, staring at my house, making a comment about how the tree over yonder, looked lonely and needed a hug.

But it was all different. My memories didn't coincide with this new playground that I saw. i felt a bit sad, in a way, because i didn't have any memories with this new place. But, I guess this has to change. (:

So, I went along singing away: at the emptiness of the space, at the small little drops that fell from the sky, at the man who was walking his dog and crossed my path. I didn't let anything phase me.. I just kept singing on my way.

That's it for now,

Je T'aime,

Heather

First picture: boo, i couldn't find the pictures that I took of the marine layer of fog that I talk about in my "love" section. When I find a picture/take one, i'll switch it out. picture via palosverdes.com

Second picture: YES PLEASE! via pretty foods.

Oh yeah! A realization about me: I think that I'm a pretty patient person. ish, or more than some, atleast....? BUT. i realized that I'm VERY impatient with people who are not patient. I get extremely annoyed, irritated, and snappy when people are impatient.

kbye(:

Home is where the heart is

Indulgences: going to LA, attending the b here thing, going to hello kitty extravaganza. (:, cooking spam in egg and rice, eating a can of corn, movie, celebrating birthdays, ASAHI. ALL YOU CAN EAT SUSHI. SOO AMAZING., HOME>Love: considerate people, sincere and humble people, my highschool friends, full delirium from eating good food, the cold weather, that my sister would surprise me with a call at like 7 am to tell me that she's in line at best buy for the dslr that i mentioned i wanted but would never stand in line for, little quirks about people, tuxedo sam

Listening to: beautiful people by sam ock, she is love by parachute, pater peccavi, 2 am club, jra:by chance, clara chung:rocketeer cover,

Desire: stationary, to use a-daily thoughts and other random stuff-journal, new cute over the head headphones, a trip to all of these. yes please(:. one of those freaking adorable totoro cream puffs like in the picture, a totoro sofa, a hello kitty apron(don't laugh. but i didn't get it b/c it's a kids medium :[ ), to catch up with all my old friends, to write and send out all the letters that i've been intending to do, gloves, polaroid film, black boots, motivation, to join an acapella/something of the sort.

A bit about me: I generally don't change much, my procrastination screws me over, i LOVE food, i like reminiscing(maybe a little bit too much), i'm passive

photo inspiration:
1. on my building there's a large panel of reflective windows. I want it to be sunset with clouds in the sky with an array of colors in the sky. and take a picture of the panel of windows reflecting the spectrum of colors of the sky.
2. on the engineering building there are these white.. i don't know. up there. it's some sort of architecture design that would look nice if you get the right angle.
3. a line of orange trees that is absolutely adorable picture perfect. right near the barn. (:

So, I randomly went to a performance at UCLA that had joseph vincent, clara chung, kaba modern, quest, etc. they were. amazing! LOOP MACHINES. I LOVE LOOP MACHINES so much. I missed some sort of culture even if it was only watching a singing+dancing performance. it was great (:.

Considerate people like and treat considerate people more kindly. I'm just saying.

Definition of thankful: expressing gratitude and relief

Definition of thank: express gratitude to (someone)

I've come to realize that in my life, I'm very thankful for many things. But although I'm thankful, I noticed that I don't necessarily thank God for things. But i'm simply thankful. This may be a problem.

I overthink things. and question myself. not good.

So, I remember back in the day whenever I saw coffee I would squeal "MMM! COFFEE!" and a friend would tell me constantly how caffeine is the most abused drug. And I would be all sad ish , or not really. but I'd be self-conscious for my like of coffee. But while I was in psychology lecture: my teacher told me about how he had an addiction to coffee: it went to the point where he had 21 cups a day. And that he drank it because he got a buzz, and then built tolerance, and the only way to try to get the buzz was to increase intake. Anyway, in the midst of all this lecturing: i remembered when i became self-conscious for whenever i wanted to drink coffee. But! i realized that I don't enjoy coffee for the caffeine. I think coffee tastes yummy. and smells delicious. I'd drink decaf over caffeinated with no problem. it's like me liking apple juice. i like the taste. so i don't know why, but this put my mind at a bit of an ease. (like closing a chapter-a teeny one). (:

So, I've come to realize that I love where I live. I love how it gets dark dark dark at night and you can see quite a number of stars even though we're in LA. I love how it's naturey and green and hilly. I love that the air feels so clean and crisp and refreshing. I love that at school, even though there were a LOT of asians, we were still pretty diverse and have experiences with other races and arn't oblivious to different cultures. I love that around the area, there's all kinds of different cultured food that's made WELL and is delliccioussss! I love how it's all spaced out with little secret spots. I love that it's super safe. I love how you can go out at whenever time in the late night and walk in the middle of the street, and there probably won't be any cars. I love how there are a million shots of pv that are picturesque and the area in general has awe-inspiring views. I

I hate whenever I think of things to write about and then i forget them.. :[