Indulgences: Going to the flea market(FINALLY), jack in the box churros, cooking nights!, wearing guy jeans, almond yummy yogurtListening to: Valentine, the notebook soundtrack(old favorites, especially in love with the main title and i'll be seeing you by billie holiday), new cd en mi coche, bird song by ingrid
Love: music, appropriate silence, delicious food, food outings, trying new different kinds of food, driving and trying to hit those little flappy markers that are on the road during construction(too bad they're gone now. boo)
Desire: to make that <--- cake. , learn valentine on guitar(workin on it. can't get that f sharp with the stupid bar. boo.), watch/read "the classics", the notebook soundtrack in cd version(whether bought or burned), more will to bible read, be a tad less awkward, get together with people music sesh and post stuff on youtube(:
"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'" (Matthew 7:21-23)
Wow, super fail on my goals of the month... i was late to class everyday as usual. only exercised once, and my posture hasn't improved much(maybe a teensy WEENSY bit. but no. not really.) AND i didn't cook for my family. ugh. k, maybe i should only have 1-2 goals per month so that i can concentrate on them more..? or just plain try harder. yeah.
"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'" (Matthew 7:21-23)
So, i'm pretty concerned about this. I feel as if, maybe i'm one of these people. I just cruise along, and then one day at the end I'll call out Lord! Lord! and I'll be rejected because I wasn't faithful enough/didn't do enough/etc. and that possibility is completely frightening.
I mean, where's the line drawn between people who believe Him, and people who sort of follow Him, and those people who are VERY devout? I don't know, no one does, except God. So I just need to try my best. (is it sad that i had to yahoo.com to find where exactly that verse was? yes, very sad indeed.)
So,... I know that I care for people. but i'm worried that i don't care enough for people. I don't feel this constant urgency to save people, to try to bring them to God. is that bad? i think it is. if i'm not caring whether or not people know Jesus Christ, does that mean i don't care for their eternal salvation which means i don't care for them..?
I don't know... just something that i've been tossing around in my mind.
So, I realized that I bought THE most different items of clothing ever, over lastlast weekend.
one. is a white lace dress that seems like old fashion, classic, almost churchy(picture of it down there).
the other, a black leather strapless dress.
i'm still trying to figure out how to wear these articles of clothing that i bought.
Pen cafe was thursday! it was quite fun :D i think we actually did pretty well. it was fun. i think i should stop complaining and just enjoy it more and stuff and stop overly thinking whether my voice is up to par and etc. and just have more fun with it.
so. the reason why my title is hello to nobody.. is because i thought no one, but myself would be reading these. or maybe like one/two other people who just happened to come across it or something. but lately, more people have been telling me hey! i read your blog. or something of the such (and when i say more, it's not liek A LOTT of people, just more than i expected). and to be honest, it makes me feel quite awkward? knowing that what i'm writing is going to be seen, read, judged, iono. it's strange. but i guess, what could i have expected... it IS online, it IS a blog, and i DID put it in my facebook(why did i do that, again..? who knows. maybe i should remove it.),... or do i like that people are reading this.? i have no clue. *shrug. sigh... oh the uncertainties of my mind.
influence of aunt/cousins
I need to be very cautious about the influence of others around me. Especially my aunt and cousins/family. They're family, and I know I'm supposed to love them, but sometimes the way they are, just.. make it quite difficult. My aunt's the kind of person who... so, last weekend my cousins, sister, aunt, and i were standing infront of the escalator/a little to the side of it. and two african american ladies accidently bumped into her, i believe, and went onto the escalator
as they went up, my aunt gave them dirty looks and said "fat ass" just loud enough so they can hear. And it's just like. woah, chill out. ya know? and it's like "oh well maybe your aunt was having a bad day or something..?" no, she's always like this. and imagine this is coming from a shorter than 5 foot asian woman. ...yeeah. She's super short tempered, and i'm pretty sure she thinks the world NEEDS to fit to her/her family's liking. and i don't know. it's just very frustrating. another example is at restaurants. OH, the WORST. my aunt is the kind who.. if even the SLIGHTEST thing goes wrong she will bizatch out the waiter and ask for the manager. and my cousins will fuel the fire, and LOVE when she does it. seriously, they brag about it, they get a THRILL out of it. it's pretty sick. but yeah. i would NEVER want to be this way/treat people this way, at all. it makes me cringe just thinking about it. if they ever read this, i'd be in a grave, instantly.
Wow, i really want to learn to be more photogenic. because this picture is plain terrible. Not going to lie, i think i'm sort of posting this here because i think it's kinda cool/flattering. but also mainly because i wanna remember it myself? iono. I mainly post things on here so that i can remember how i felt/what i did/etc, cause i like reading my old posts and remembering how i was/progressed. But, yeah. at the flea market this girl comes up to me and goes "hey i like what you're wearing can i take a picture for my blog". that was pretty cool i guess. but iono seeing her blog, it's not really like the fashionistas,, it's just like interesting clothes of people. So,... yeah eh *shrug. i' def not diggin those boots. or iono the outfit just seems off to me. bleh.plus i look chubby in this pic and i gots no neck and. iono just BOO. ohwell.
So, I want to talk about this movie I saw today called To Save a Life. go google to see what it's about. But, my friend was telling me about it and he was saying how it's amazing and really life changing, and i was really interested and pretty touched of how it changed him. And REALLY admire what he and my other friend are doing(more on that later). But to be quite honest, when I saw it, i didn't really feel the same effect. I really enjoyed the movie line, don't get me wrong, but i'm not sure WHAT it was that made me not appreciate the movie as much as everyone else did. something about the acting, or the tad bit of cheesy predictability was just a tad unsettling. I felt extremely awkward when, you know how after a movie, everyone's all OOH how'd you like it?? and everyone's all yeahh it was really good. like yeah, i thought it was good, had a good message. but some things just distracted me. like things i learned in my church that were different in the movie, like when the boy gets baptized, he wasn't faced down; how when he prayed, he didn't say "in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ I pray"; how although he was supposed to be all transformed, they still depicted him being super angry and such to his parents. and i don't know just,..other things like that . I enjoy the overall theme, but I personally didn't think the movie was OVERLY AMAZINGLY wonderful. I definitely think that if this story was in a well written book form, i would have felt more drawn to it.
I feel like there's other things I wanted to talk about, but just too lazy to type and i really want to get out a post tonight AND this post is already long. SOO, that's all for now. Bye!
Love,
Heather
ps. I really dislike when people say "extra ordinary" instead of "extrrroooordinary" because.. extraordinary is supposed to mean something overly amazing, something NOT ordinary. but saying it as "extra ordinary" makes it sound like it's VERY ordinary. which isn't at all the case.
So, I want to talk about this movie I saw today called To Save a Life. go google to see what it's about. But, my friend was telling me about it and he was saying how it's amazing and really life changing, and i was really interested and pretty touched of how it changed him. And REALLY admire what he and my other friend are doing(more on that later). But to be quite honest, when I saw it, i didn't really feel the same effect. I really enjoyed the movie line, don't get me wrong, but i'm not sure WHAT it was that made me not appreciate the movie as much as everyone else did. something about the acting, or the tad bit of cheesy predictability was just a tad unsettling. I felt extremely awkward when, you know how after a movie, everyone's all OOH how'd you like it?? and everyone's all yeahh it was really good. like yeah, i thought it was good, had a good message. but some things just distracted me. like things i learned in my church that were different in the movie, like when the boy gets baptized, he wasn't faced down; how when he prayed, he didn't say "in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ I pray"; how although he was supposed to be all transformed, they still depicted him being super angry and such to his parents. and i don't know just,..other things like that . I enjoy the overall theme, but I personally didn't think the movie was OVERLY AMAZINGLY wonderful. I definitely think that if this story was in a well written book form, i would have felt more drawn to it.
I feel like there's other things I wanted to talk about, but just too lazy to type and i really want to get out a post tonight AND this post is already long. SOO, that's all for now. Bye!
Love,
Heather
ps. I really dislike when people say "extra ordinary" instead of "extrrroooordinary" because.. extraordinary is supposed to mean something overly amazing, something NOT ordinary. but saying it as "extra ordinary" makes it sound like it's VERY ordinary. which isn't at all the case.
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