New Year 2014

Dang, it's been an entire year already... 

2013's New Year Resolutions:
1. Eat more healthy. Exercise more often. [Live a healthy lifestyle]
2. Try harder w/ family and friends. [Work on building these relationships]
3. Spend less money. Keep track/budget
4. Be more thankful. Have less complaints.
5. Actively think about/re-evaluate Him. 
6. Be nice to bumbum. less stubborn, more understanding, etc.

How I feel about them:
1. not so much. those munchie meals, and lazy days :[ exercising hasn't been that successful either... at least I did go to the gym a couple of times?
2. not too sure :/ not much different effort than the usual
3. :[ sadly no either. spent a lot on food and others. at least i didn't splurge much on myself?
4. sometimes. less complaints but need to be even more thankful
5. slightly but not as much as I'd hope
6. maybe?

2013.
That was the year I started out by watching Nightmare before Christmas ( & EW fell asleep).
That was the year with the nice mochi memory w/ daddy.
That was the year I got my Iphone 5 from Sam's Club.
That was the year I visited Alcatraz with the family. hauntingly beautiful.
That was the year EW & I saw Cirque du Soleil Iris! incredible.
That was the year we made gingerbread houses. the vastly different techniques.
That was the year I made chocolate covered strawberries for EW for valentine's.
That was the year we had a fatty/fast food-y meal for vday cause of tests.
That was the year of the Heat fight.
That was the year where I freaked out cause I thought I lost my keys.
That was the year of those delicious biscuits at MBP w/ Tanya.
That was the year I went to vegas & ate the wicked spoon & got to see the new hotels.
That was the year with the date hiking, lemonade, amara & mi piace as a makeup valentine date.
That was the year we went to art walk & the salted pig.
That was the year I went to Spring Splash w/ David & met all his friends.
That was the year I got owned by immunology.
That was the year of the food truck festival at riverside.
That was the year I went to Tecate.
That was the year I was elected Vice President of PFV.
That was the year where I had conversation partners.
That was the year I say Key & Peele at the last laugh.
That was the year I got screwed over for housing & my dream apartment was stolen from me.
That was the year I turned 21 @ spent it at a PFV banquet.
That was the year I let eric use my apartment for a friend's birthday party.
That was the year I found a new place to live.
That was the year I took summer school at UCI.
That was a year of fighting about a girl.
That was a year of fighting about morals/differences.
That was the year I stashed my couch at Alex's
That was the year I ate a lot with jauhar & austin & eric in Irvine. fukata yums.
That was the year Brian made crepes for my family.
That was the year I went to 626 night market w/ my family.
That was the year when my mom had her knee surgery.
That was the year we had a nice picnic.
That was the year he showed me high life's breakfast burrito.
That was the year I tried Fogo de Chao.
That was the year with arguments about vegas.
That was a year of lots of master chef.
That was the year I threw Eric a birthday week bonanza. 21 gifts. birthday dinners with different groups of loved ones. aquarium & ruth chris date.
That was the year I got Jury Duty & it was SUCH a waste of time.
That was the year Kris brought truck breakfast burritos & long talks at hesse.
That was the year of trying Eatalian w/ Hyunjean.
That was the year I "hiked" w/ tanya & kris. our "healthy" day. (& seeing kau)
That was the year Kris brought me cream puffs.
That was the year I went to Pearl's birthday party.
That was the year where I saw the picture & the huge fight.
That was the year of the crazy night at banana bay.
That was the year he broke up with me.
That was the year Kris comforted me & dragged me out when I didn't want to.
That was the year I attended Steven's salon.
That was the year I had king taco.
That was the year with lots of talks of whether to get back together.
That was the year with a lot of sulking, and turning into a pathetic person i've never been before.
That was the year I ran with Rhino at the park a lot.
That was the year where I found comfort in Rhino.
That was the year I celebrated tim's birthday with dinner & icecream.
That was the year of attending austin's birthday party & feeling horribly awkward.
That was the year I found out about the kiss.
That was the year of forgiving and getting back together.
That was the year I screwed up by not focusing on OAT & getting caught up in emotions.
That was the year of seeing young the giant at Block Party.
That was the year my parents drove to riverside for me!
That was the year Kalin spontaneously came with me to Rowland heights & had a long nice talk.
That was the year we had kbbq two days in a row.
That was the year Anatomy took over my entire life.
That was the year David treated me to dinner.
That was the year David & I had a very honest and open conversation.
That was the year I took Photography & spent hours and hours in studio.
That was the year Alex treated me to lunch at his fave mexican restaurant.
That was the year I got 3 parking tickets at once.
That was the year I learned how to use analog & Cesar graciously let me use his beautiful camera.
That was the year I volunteered with Eric at his work events.
That was the year I confessed what I ignored in my head.
That was the year I interviewed people & learned a lot about that perspective.
That was the year I sold my couch.
That was the year I chilled at Kevin's house for a bit & he gave me souviners. 
That was the year My family celebrated my birthday at the Gordon Ramsay at the london.
That was the year I helped Ashley with her birthday celebration.
That was the year I went to a bar, the rabbit hole.
That was the year I met Kevin's girl? 
That was the year I saw bianca again at lunch.
That was the year I made a hard effort to be nice & understanding to Jenny.
That was the year Jenny was a complete bitch.
That was the year I had thanksgiving with David's friends.
That was the year I got an A in anatomy(first quarter)!
That was the year where I regretted taking photography.
That was the year where I felt humiliated in public and realized how unartistic I am.
That was the year when my car got towed & I had to pay $303 to retrieve it.
That was the year EW took me to disneyland on our 2 year anniversary for my birthday present.
That was the year I took my grandma to the doctor's & realized how deteriorated she is. & her.. 'quirks'.
That was the year I spent a lot of money on riverside's christmas party.
That was the year I burned myself & it left a nasty mark.
That was the year of hearing lots of updates from tans. sad cookie.
That was the year of seeing christmas lights w/ family +doggy.
That was the year of 3 days of chiang get togethers.
That was the year of the big grandpa drama.
That was the year of all the petty dramas.
That was the year of Lion King at the Pantages.
That was the year of the terrenea ayce seafood buffet.
That was the year of seeing Ashley, Lindsey, DSon, Jwang, kelc, christy all for the first time in years.
That was the year of a lot of crazy emotions, dramas, sadness, hurt, humiliation, stress, 

2014's New Year Resolutions:
1. Live a balanced life
2. Enjoy the small things more
3. Keep an exercise regime
4. Show more love
5. Work hard for optometry

New Year 2013

So... Maybe it'll be a new tradition or something to write a post about the past year and such. We'll see.

Last Year's New Year's Resolutions:
1. Feel like I've really tried at something
2. Improve at one of my many wanted skills
3. Don't give up on Him.
4. Self-reflect and act on it!
5. Even if I don't accomplish these, at least keep them in mind during the year.

How I feel about them:
1. Not really sure if I did, I feel like i'll never be completely sure if I gave something my 100% effort... Definitely tried at a lot more things though.
2. Not really... maybe cooking improved?
3. Havn't given up, just havn't been actively thinking about Him or how I feel about it all.
4. Self reflected sometimes. still not as much as I'd want/hope for.
5. Thought about them a couple of times. so sort of check?

2012.
That was the year I attempted to fly a floating lantern but failed.
That was the year I had my first kiss.
That was the year I went to m&m donuts for the first time.
That was the year Anton Kevin and I made that DELICIOUS pizza.
That was the year Eric and I watched a meteor shower together.
That was the year I made wrap bracelets for friends.
That was the year I finally met Mike.  Plus had our first double date.
That was the year I worked up the courage to tell parents/family about Eric.
That was the year I went to the lab w/ Paulina and Ariel.
That was the year I gained insight of my Mom's love("going to war")
That was the year il Chianti closed.
That was the year KAP did White elephant at my apt.
That was the year we made THE LIST.
That was the year we tried Farrells.
That was the year I played mario party forever w/ some of KAP.
That was the year he got me a camera flash keychain, aldo/flower yum pot/flowers/handwarmer/candy/umbrella, sunglasses/picture frame/portos cake, roses/cloverplanner.
That was the year we ate at ooka.
That was the year I ate w/ bryan, tommy and michelle at Pho and looked like a fatty ordering an XL.
That was the year we played lotsa majong.
That was the year we tried new places like oasis, pupuseria sierra, malan, 
That was the year I took a buncha chass classes, and hence started to write essays :[
That was the year we started to fight.
That was the year Kris introduced me to get shaved.
That was the year Kcruz and I got dimsum and actually hung out in our area together.
That was the year I started playing Monopoly deal w/ family.
That was the year we went to the photography museum.
That was the year KAP went to go visit anton and spent the day at LA.
That was the year 626 Night Market opened. and it was CRAZY.
That was the year I was elected to be Treasurer of PFV.
That was the year I visited SCCO again.
That was the year I actually went to spring splash & liked it (:
That was the year I actually read the books for english: Frankenstein, Oryx & Crake, and enjoyed them.
That was the year of lots of movies: mission impossible, chronicle, lorax, avengers, edward scissorhands, spiderman, perks, hobbit, le mis, ...
That was the year we went to austin's apt to study a lot.
That was the year the girls had a small get together for bday. mcdonalds, cake, photoframe.
That was the year of PFV's retreat at kayaking, phils.
That was the year of a nice bday: david came to talk, brunch w/ kcruz, eric cooked dinner. eric's friends came over for cake.
That was the year my parents met Eric.
That was the year of Austin's party/get together.
That was the year of the oh so awkward Madeline's wedding.
That was the year I discovered the peach soda.
That was the year my family & I got shin sen gumi for $3!
That was the year we went to see Dia & Xenia @HOB for free basically.
That was the year I played tennis w/ lyneth, allen, & ash.
That was the year Tommy invited us over for curry.
That was the year we went to Universal for Mzaw's bday.
That was the year of the sister fight fiasco.
That was the year I started shadowing for Dr. Ngyuen.
That was the year we watched tommy's reunion dance show.
That was the year I drove home to see fireworks w/ dad.
That was the year I suffered through Biochem & Riverside heat for the summer.
That was the year we had a picnic at the park & I finally saw HOUSE.
That was the year lyneth and I hung out in DB area while waiting for Eric.
That was the year I visited Eric's church.
That was the year we went to eat thai food for bianca's bday.
That was the year we had a batman marathon before the last one & I cooked food for eric's friends.
That was the year we went to Piccolo during dinela.
That was the year we went to 626 market again w/ leo & his friends
That was the year I got him troopie/helicopter, lego heart necklaces, twister, legoland tickets, burbs.
That was the year we went to the OC fair and won tuxedo sam (:
That was the year we went to LA art walk w/ eric's friends
That was the year we went to legoland, japanese buffet, extraordinary desserts, leo's place for bday.
That was the year Kris and I talked about future and such. names. old times.
That was the year I started physically washing my car more often.
That was the year I started talking to steph more. & had a similar problem in common.
That was the year where that similar problem was quite an issue.
That was the year I showed Eric the lab, ate at old vine cafe,..
That was the year I got to catch up with Paik on a more personal level. 
That was the year went to LA fair w/ eric's friends.
That was the year of lots of tv as well: heroes, master chef, suits, etc
That was the year Paulina and I visited Ariel @ UCLA. campus Jacuzzi. 
That was the year Eric and I hung out with Steph and Austin more. got asahi...
That was the year Eric moved into his new apt.
That was the year KAP hangout was kinda fail. went to roscoes, kbbq, mall, etc.
That was the year I worked block party.
That was the year our apt got a roach problem.
That was the year of the "eaten butter"
That was the year of ash's old roommate's madness.
That was the year I started to be at Eric's place too much.
That was the year Piggy Bowl was created. 
That was the year of playing MAO games w/ riverside friends. rhyming O.O
That was the year we played monopoly deal essentially everyday for a while w/ bryan.
That was the year where I started to get lazy w/ cooking.
That was the year we went to Halloween Horror Nights (universal) w/ eric's friends.
That was the year where I started to love hot pot and ate lots of it.
That was the year I attended church again (first in almost 2 years)
That was the year of halloween party w/ RIVERSIDE.
That was the year we went to legoland again b/c of free ticket.
That was the year I slept over at Eric's w/o him and Bryan and I talked.
That was the year of gma mad at al. >:]
That was the year of thanksgiving dinner at hof's hut.
That was the year of Vicky starting.
That was the year "bumbum" was created.
That was the year aunt and uncle had dad and I for dinner. Nice homecooked meal.
That was the year we fought bout money.
That was the year of our 1 year.
That was the year we went to CHILL ice kingdom @ queen mary w/ Tan &Mike
That was the year T confronted me about problems. after our irritated moments.
That was the year Rhino was introduced to the family.
That was the year we took her to see the lights.
That was the year we "helped gma" cook christmas dinner.
That was the year r defended himself against gpa. sweaters. red.
That was the year sister took me to the Bazaar.
That was the year I decided to get some people small gifts.
That was the year I realized I really need to save more money.
That was the year Tanya Kris and I made mushroom risotto w/ scallops.
That was the year it was said.
That was the year of the christmas party. less awkward. charades. fun.
That was the year we went to festival of lights and it sucked. stayed in. talk about past year. watched the ball drop.
That was a year of a lot of emotions.
That was a year I had to learn to communicate better/deal with conflicts.
That was a year of a lot of Eric. LOL.

This is the year I will improve.

2013's New Year Resolutions:
1. Eat more healthy. Exercise more often. [Live a healthy lifestyle]
2. Try harder w/ family and friends. [Work on building these relationships]
3. Spend less money. Keep track/budget
4. Be more thankful. Have less complaints.
5. Actively think about/re-evaluate Him. 
6. Be nice to bumbum. less stubborn, more understanding, etc.

Drone

Indulgences: lots of eating, finally going to the riverside museum, visiting a friend, going bowling, being cramped with a million asians at the 626 night market, becoming treasurer, watching the avengers midnight showing, watching a dance show, bought a moleskine, watching batman, eating at piccolo in venice, a second 626 market, going to the oc fair. artwalk, legoland, extraordinary desserts, meeting with good friends/good talks, la fair, lots of shows (master chef, suits, heroes, glee, project runway, glee project... etc.), visiting ucla, hanging in la with riverside friends, mao games, color me mine, raving rabbids, monopoly deal games, watching perks,
Desire: to go to a pen dance show again and choir show and drama production., confidence, to feel at home with my surroundings/ to find some place where I thrive, to bring some passion into my life, to be a better person, to be more productive, to be hardworking, to feel like i'm at the prime of my youth
Listening to: the sound of crickets chirping during the night, James Morrison: Wonderful World
Love: pierre (a giant tuxedo sam), piggy bowl, the thought that it's going to get colder soon, unexpected good things, the idea of things,

So there are all these things that I wanted to write about but never got to.  And I'm not going to talk about them in this post either.  Maybe in a post sometime soon. in the future. who knows.
That post is going to be of thoughts i've accumulated the past couple of months. good reminders to myself. Something good to reflect on.
This post, however, is not that. This is one of those: I need somewhere to write down how I feel cause I ain't doing so great at the moment--kind of posts. It's that post where I look back on and think: dang, I am incredibly melodramatic and really wished I didn't post this as a reminder to future me of how stupid I was/am. but, nonetheless, here it is.

For some reason, for the past week or so, I feel like something's slowly tearing my heart and soul away from me.  and yet I have no clue what or why.  I feel like a different person, or at least someone similar.. but a darker, worse version.  It's one of those times where I secretly wished (and yet didn't) that there was actually something in my life that I can legitimately be sad about, just so that I can feel less like a dramatic teenager (or, excuse me, I mean a "young adult"). But it's just been some of those days where you just feel like crying your eyes out and secretly glare at everything and mutter hatred things in your mind and feel so mindless and soulless and so.. dead.
I feel like a drone.

Also,... why is it that I feel like everyone out there is moving somewhere in their life except for me?  I feel like everyone's growing, learning, achieving.  While I'm just plain.. stagnant.

I'm going to regret this,
I-really-need-to-suck-it-up-heather.

Dusty

So maybe I'm stressed because I have a final tomorrow that I'm incredibly unprepared for. or maybe I'm letting my emotions get the best of me....
          Hating and being jealous takes a large amount of energy.  Especially since I don't often dislike someone to this extent to let it affect me.  I've become distracted, to the point where I can't even concentrate on reading a lecture slide or do anything at all, in that case.  What I usually do is try to sleep it off, but of course, at the moment, I can't. Instead,  I just think about how I'm feeling and how worked up I feel, which causes me to be even MORE worked up.
I think I've learned today that maybe I've never actually applied the concept of loving your enemy from the bible into my daily life.  Because it's INCREDIBLY difficult.

I needed comfort.  I just needed it to get out of my mind.  Honestly, I just want the person to disappear forever. But, I can't.
Instead, for some reason, I reached for my neglected ol' bible sitting in the back of my desk shelf, that's been untouched since.. I can't remember.


"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. ¹¹ Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction,faithful in prayer. ¹³ Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.^[c] Do not be conceited.
¹⁷ Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.¹⁹ Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”^[d] says the Lord. ²⁰ On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;

    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”^[e]

²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

(Romans 12:9-21)

And in these Words, I found my-- almost-- serenity.  In You, I shall find peace.  New Year's Resolution.

I have not forgotten You yet.

And by posting this, I hope that one day I may come back to read this and think: oh how foolish I was to wait so long to come back to You. 

I hope that from here, the only way is up.

May all the glory be unto His holy name.

Amen.

Bipolar

This is Tanya. I guess you can say she's my bestfriend. ;) Her birthday's coming up! :D Oh, and please stare at her weird shoes. You're welcome. (:

Indulgences: visiting friends at their apartment once, valentines night, eating out way too much, spending too much money, going to the bonfire, tripping out on 'druggy' glasses, going to Heat, going to the gym a couple of times, not feeding my roommate, way too much fastfood/mcdonalds, bloglovin, style.com lookin,
Desire: paint my nails, a break, to actually enjoy the classes i'm taking, for my roommate to clean on a regular basis and actually contribute to the apt, productivity, passion, to thrive, more details in my life, courage, to break out of the irony(tv), to mature, a solid friend at riverside, to reconnect with friends at home, to decide, to read my books, some reflection time, to start my journal, to get my stuff done, organization, enough energy/time to concentrate on everything i want/need to in life
Listening to: Angus and Julia Stone
Love: Out of the Box, 85 stitched into 1 Super Dancer, the voice, those moments where the wind stops blowing and your skin soaks up every ounce of heat it can, that moment where I came to terms with the crazy wind, those craves for art and inspiration, those dumb small realizations, the feeling i get when someone compliments how nice/homey my apt is, marchesa

I had a weird dream the other night.  I woke up and I could tell that I was on the verge of crying.  I felt these pangs of sadness, fear, regret, anger, and confusion.. all at once.  I couldn't understand why I felt that way and what made me feel this way.  All I could do was shower, brush it off, kick it to the back of my mind... And know that it'll slowly creep it's way back into my life sometime or another.

On another note:
I'm hating on the weather right now. SUPER WINDY and FREEZING one moment, next moment it's BURNING hot!
AND it's CRAZY DRY.
AND riverside has THE worst air pollution and i'm feeling it.
i miss pv and it's clean crisp air. and it's normal/regulated weather. *sighhh.

That's it for now,
Sincerely,
Heather

Ethnics.

Ohai David! Pretty good quality for an Iphone (i guess)

Indulgences: not exercising weekly like I promised ><, FINALLY making THE BRACELETS :D, dressed up dinner and white elephant w/ the Rfriends, eating out a lot, finally hitting the gym..once (and then getting sick), eating a bunch of cough drops, finally having that lunch that I said I'd have w/ angie, meeting a new family member, rummikub/marioparty/cookies/milkshakes night, making chicken soup, watching the voice, not studying for my ethnic studies midterm(tomorrow) this second, searching for new music,
Desire: a break from the midterms/papers, a better sense of myself, creativity, well-roundedness, inspiration, to see canyon court (cause they look SO FREAKIN CUTE.), additions to my wardrobe (and money to support it), more time to work on hobbies, better grammar, sophistication, more will to do things, to be able to capture images in my mind and print them out JUST HOW I WANT, to experience something truly breathtaking (as in literally skipping an inhale out of amazement), to reconnect with people/friends, REALLY CHEWY fresh asian noodles, malaysian food, indian food, really good food(basically)
Listening to: Of Monsters and Men: Little Talks, Walk Off the Earth: Somebody that I Used to Know (cover), Cillia Jane, Oh Land: Sun of a Gun(Jacob Plant Remix), Laura Marling: Goodbye England, and lots other newly good found songs. :D
Love: my thursday break (sitting on the arts building, listening to music, reading a book, relaxing, thinking, people watching, and secretly feeling incredibly cool for looking like a chass kid), little things that cheer you up, new recipes that spark interest, tackling lists (and making them), the (good kind of ) unexpected, when someone trusts you with a secret/knowing any kind of secret, Etiquette for a Lady,
Random Thoughts: it makes me feel awkward when people say things like "i popped my ____ cherry" and "i'm a ____ virgin" (insert some sort of action, place, food, or whatever else), I need a FB break but probably won't, I've been judgmental lately, my backpack being caught in that girl's hair was probably one of the most embarrassing moments in my life, i feel like that one street corner is cursed with bees (and it freaks me out to cross there), I am REALLY afraid and nervous for my midterm (yet can't get myself to study for it), i'm wondering what he was thinking when i told him,

BY THE WAY: This post is all over the place.

I feel that since people are so dependent on technology, we miss out on opportunities that could have been.  Here are some examples.  Walking to class: texting/listening to music, I could have missed out on hearing someone/seeing someone pass by that I knew to stop for a chat.  Waiting for class to start: texting/playing a game/listening to music; instead I could have met someone new and struck up a conversation with someone.  Sitting at home: go on the internet, watch tv; instead, I could have walked to a friend's apartment to chat, or done something actually productive.

Dear Henry/Hector/H...,

I know that I'll never see you again and never have the chance to apologize.  But, I'm sorry.  I truely am flattered at your compliment and your attempt to introduce yourself.  I am in shock of my reaction and behavior towards you.  I didn't register that you said you wanted to be friends after I had already begun walking away.  I do not want to be perceived as one of those girls, ...ever.   And by "one of those girls" I mean to say one of those girls that are think they're attractive and belittle others who are not; the ones who get boyfriends and never talk other people and shut down anyone who tries; the ones that are pretty much snobbish.  But then again, I'm stereotyping, and judging... so maybe I DO have "one of those girls" characteristics.  Once again, I'm sorry.  Especially sorry for my awkwardness.  I don't take compliments very gracefully.

Sincerely,

That one girl you saw walking.

SO.  Something that my ethnic studies professor and TA brought up has been itching at me for a while.
They convey this anger and resentment towards children's education for the way history is taught.  They all resent the Columbus story of discovery.  She (TA) resents be "indoctrinated" with the pledge of allegiance.  Learning about history as a child is now "indoctrination" as if we were brainwashed.  In a sense, I can understand their beliefs and why they have come to these conclusions.  However, if I realistically thought about the types of historical facts that they wanted us to know as children, I would be outraged.  I understand that they believe that not knowing these negative facts about the US putting loads of people in genocidal situations is considered ignorant and naive.  However, Would they REALLY want their 10 year old daughter knowing these things too?  I feel as if the world is already filled with so many negative things, that is it really that bad to hold off on some negativity until people have aged?  Imagine the sorts of consequences of telling children these facts when they're so young.  What twisted souls would result!!  I was sitting on the arts building during my class gap and there were these two girl scouts running up and down the building, surrounding me.  At that moment, it was one of those times in which I wished SO BADLY to be able to capture a moment with my eyes and to have it kept forever.  Because their innocence seemed so pure and unattainable to me.  And I wouldn't want to ruin that sort of innocence in a child for any reason, not even to factually educate them about US's true history.

So, at the moment I've found myself taking classes in which I was unexpected at the material that's actually presented in lecture as compared to the material in which I thought I would be learning.  First, History was a minor deviation from my expectation: is concentrated only on the political and military aspects.  I for one, am not really interested in those two sections but rather find more interest in social and artistic aspects in history.  So it was a bit difficult to suck it up and continue on with the course.  Secondly,  "Intro to Architecture and Urbanism" definitely caught my eye because I am fascinated by buildings, architecture, and design in general.  So i thought the class would be a sort of introduction to the architecture field.  Learning small aspects of architecture and the such.  Instead, I've found myself stuck in a class that is focused on suburbia through the entire quarter.  The SUBURBIA, which to be honest, to me, seems like one of the least interesting topics that I could study.  But, there are those sparks of interest (FEW may I add) that occur here and there, during lecture.  Third, in which I am least disappointed, is in Ethnic Studies.  I fantasized about this interesting course of learning different aspects of different cultures and learning the mind sets and ins and outs of different ethnic groups.  A celebration of diversity (in which the united states boasts about today).  Instead, I find myself in a course which bashes the history of America and reveals the raw and graphic vulnerable ages of the minorities.  I am appreciative that the university finds it important to ensure that students are not ignorant of America's past (and present) mistakes, however, I feel that this course's concentration doesn't lead its students in any better direction.  I found that since taking this course, I have also conjured up feelings of angst/anger towards groups of people because they have wronged another group.  I find this counterproductive to the goal that I feel ethnic studies should try to achieve.  I feel that ethnic studies should try to create a society in which people are more accepting other ethnicities, which is created by the acknowledgement of differences of cultures.  However, this knowledge of differences should be presented in a positive manner, in which students would be shown that its okay to be a deviation from the modern day "acceptable" white behavior, and better yet, differences should be celebrated.  Instead, I feel as if ethnic studies not only creates negative mind sets, but also creates a slight amount of fear of being different, because we are shown countless cases of how people were brutally prejudiced, killed, and raped because of their difference.
...I wonder how I'll perceive my rant, later on in life if I choose to take the time to actually reread it.

That's it for now!
Sincerely,
That one girl from that one place from that one time.

Him

Dear You,

I havn't forgotten You yet, I promise.  I know that it seems that I have.   I know we havn't spoken in quite a while.  But often times when I don't know where to turn to, I still think of You.   When I feel afraid, I still secretly trust and hope in You.  I know that I don't deserve You, but one day I'll try.   One day, I'll try again for You.  I'll love You, not as much as You love me, but I'll still try my best.  Don't lose hope in me just yet please. If You do, I'm afraid I'll lose hope too.

From,
Me.