Is that too much to ask for?

Indulgences: A couple of hours of slightly lame black friday shopping, people stylewatch magazine(last issue :[ ), wearing nothing under a huge sweater w/leggings(super comfy day), cooking dinner with friends and hanging out when i should've been doing apps, sitting and letting someone push me around in a shopping cart in a grocery market, going shopping instead of studying for my tests.
Listening to: Ani Difranco-Both Hands, Ben Folds-You Don't Know Me, Norah Jones, Jess Delgado, Ingrid Michaelson station on Pandora(ohh how it gets me just right on, usually.)
Love: modesty, when songs match the exact mood of scenes in shows/movies/whatever, "Help me, I can't help myself" videos in psych, watching videos in psych, HBKC in hoeger's class,
Desire: more discipline to not be late to things, large chunky knits, black booties, large range of shoes, solid support system, not missing things, lots of money=>shopping trip, hangouts(many of them), a guyfriend. FRIEND, THAT IS A BOY, (who will want to be there for me&everything, W/O expectations of being more than friends.), to go to japan(soooooooo baddllyyyyy), to actually be studying/learning the subjects that i'm taking, reconnect/connect with people, put more effort on God

Pictures: 1. This girl is my absolute favorite at the moment. Check her out at leblogdebetty.com she's so ultra adorable. I think I love her because of 1.her hair 2.her overall look 3.she's french 4.just look at her!
2. I am actually completely and totally in love with this Asos studded bustier that she donned. I'm not sure why it is that I adore it so much. Possibly because it's a tad racy and yet so edgy and sexy- the way she paired it with a leather jacket that makes a perfect couple. Or maybe it's because I wish I could wear things like that but can't because my lack of boobage. whatever the case may be, it's divine.

So, this wasn't exactly the type of entry that I wanted to write the next time I wrote an entry Ya know when something bad happens and you just KNOW it's only the beginning of a terrible chain/week of badness? yup. that basically happened to me. Yesterday wasn't a bad day either. Just a couple of bad things happened. ya know?
So before, i think i wrote that i love realizations.... but, everything has two sides. Yesterday was a bad-slap sort of realization. Or, rather... I already realized this situation, it's just that...no one has ever confirmed it in front of my face, ya know? It's not a bad thing. it was just. sudden. a tad stunning.
"You're the bitch in the situation"
Yeah, it's true. I'm being inconsiderate. I'm sorry. And yet... that little intsy bit inside of me, STILL thinks it's unfair. but whatever....
Yesterday something else happened. but don't feel like sharing.

on another note.. APPS. YOU ARE DONE. DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE. NO MORE. EVER. AND EVER AND EVER. the application process is over, and I couldn't be any more glad. however, I thought that life would be a breeze with this burden lifted. But, this week is INSANE. and not at all stressless. what a shame.

How difficult is it to find simply the perfect large chunky knit? I suppose harder than I thought... On black friday, i found the almost PERFECT one at Urban outfitters, but asian-me didn't buy it because 1. it wasn't on sale 2. it was 54 dollars. But I love it... :[. Realizing my mistake, I went back today to search for it. Sadly, it wasn't there. there was a different black wannabe that was $68 but simply not the same. I went to multiple stores and sadly, none of the ones that I found seemed to measure up. I bought one today from H&M however, because I desperately wanted one to go with my outfit tomorrow. Sad? I agree. So I suppose that the one I got today shall suffice for my desperate NEED for chunky knits,...for now.

So, I'm definitely thinking of starting to buy like a whole bunch of shoes now that have heels on them. like.. the boots that I want and such. but i don't know if i'd wear them to school. I want to,.. but i feel like it's a bit too extreme for casual-school. plus people would be like wtf mate. AND i don't know if i can bear the pain of heels for full school-days worth. AAAH, THE CONTEMPLATION.

Aah, so once again, this isn't the kind of entry that I thought I would be writing. The one that I thought I would be writing is the kind that was positive, thoughtful, meaningful, with a tad of obsession for clothes. But, as you can see, it is all the opposite. and now my mind is completely blank, although there was so much I wanted to write about, I cannot seem to conjure up anymore words. So I shall end here.

...and Yes, that(whatever it may be-a chunky knit, a guy friend,...) is ALWAYS too much to ask for, apparently...

au revoir loves,
Heather <3
photocredit: leblogdebetty.com