Deep blue sea

Indulgences: (not)sneakily eating forbidden refreshments during choir concert intermission, playing cards games with choir folk during the concert instead of studying, watching the movie atonement, skipping some school for sickness, listening/watching in amazement of musical people be musical, driving around unnecessarily before getting home, closing the door and relishing in the warmth and coziness of my room, going to emm's party instead of night service
Listening to: old faves: Blackbird (the Across the Universe version and the Bobby McFermin version), Yearn by Shane and Shane, and Knees to the Earth by Watermark, plus the burned cd on repeat, everyday, all the time in my car.
Love: choir bonding, blog writing, the spirit that thrives in musicians, Doctor's storytelling, rereading People stylewatch and drooling over a CHEAP dress that's coming out soon. soonsoonsoon., part of the orchestra playing with the choir, smelling the two little icecream cones on my phone, mingling with people
Desire: More stability, content, more will to exercise, musicality, cooking skills, a better memory, more patience, decisiveness, determination
To Do for break(in addition to previously mentioned): dinner in LA w/thegirls, create a REALISTIC new years resolution, get wisdom teeth pulled out :[, eat a LOT before getting teeth pulled, read pride and prejudice and atonement, do all three planned days of Hoeger's EC, Listen to all the songs on his list, watch some of the movies on his list, read some of the books on his list,

12/15-I am thankful for not uncontrollably coughing during the entire concert, for people who take the extra effort to say "bye! have a safe drive!" when i'm walking alone to my coche, for having a couple of great guy friends, and for my father's care even though he's painfully disappointed in me.
12/16-I am thankful for bonding more with choir loves, not bitching out anyone even though I was moody/tired/stressed/pained, and for my father's attempt at communication.
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
12/17-Thank you for friends who are able to be pleasant enough even though everyone's been having a bad week/day, waking up JUST in time for the keyclub meeting, a really cool extra credit opportunity.

"The world, the social world, was unbearably complicated, with two billion voices, and everyone's thoughts striving in equal importance and everyone's claim on life as intense, and everyone thinking they were unique, when no one was. One could drown in irrelevance." Ian McEwan
So, I began to read Atonement but didn't really have time to finish it, so instead I watched the movie. But I'm determined to keep reading it, especially during this break(: I came across this passage, and what a coincidence, because I've been pondering this exact sort of concept lately. Whenever I think that I'm going through things, or that I have some sort of thought that is different. I always think,.. does everyone else think this exact same thing, and think they're different as well? And, to be honest, it does make me feel irrelevant and insignificant. But then again, in a way, it's a tad comforting, knowing that we're all in the same boat. yeah? Cause, we all want someone/something to relate to, knowing that we're similar. So it's funny how while reading this passage that I've also slightly agreed with for quite some time, i found myself being comforted which is completely opposite of the concept completely... If that makes ANY sense at all...

I realize that in my blogs, in my mind, the words i'm saying come out like crystal clear. As if i'm totally making sense. but then when I read it over like weeks or even days after sometimes, it's liek wtf this is so gramatically and just overall incorrect that it's stunning. I have a feeling this is why most people don't understand me in writing AND in person, and why i always get the "awk" written EVERYWHERE on my essays by teachers.

At the moment, I'm debating between updating more often but with shorter posts, or continuing updating once a week or so but with overly long posts. I think I'll probably stick to the second.

blagh. ending this here just so that I can enter a blog in.
going M.I.A for a week. church camp. no cellphone, no internet, no means of communication until Christmas.
See you loves,
WAIT UP FOR ME TO DO FUN/COOL STUFF!

I hope this isn't a waste...
Heather.